Not too long ago I sent my friend a Facebook message asking for her advice on how I could become a contributor to her magazine – a very popular publication that I’ve wanted to contribute to for quite some time. After a couple of days she writes back and asks me to send her info on the stories I’d like to contribute to the magazine. To this day, I still haven’t sent her any stories. Why you ask?
The answer is simple – I don’t know…like really, I don’t know what specific stories I want to write because I never stopped to figure out why I truly wanted to write for the magazine in the first place. I didn’t take the time to figure out my purpose for heading down this path because the “success” of writing for xx magazine would’ve been all the gratification I needed.
And hence comes the dilemma and the question I now ponder repeatedly – am I living my life on purpose or just in (and for) the public? To further clarify my question, let me give you another example. Yesterday was Father’s Day and the outpouring of love people had for their fathers was beautiful and contagious. As I began to dig for just the right picture of my dad and I to post with the emotional yet short and sweet “thank you for being my hero and the best dad on earth” Instagram/Facebook post, I realized that one key thing was wrong with this picture – my dad doesn’t even use a computer and would never even see this message!
What in the world was my purpose for writing this heartfelt post if the person I was directing it to wasn’t on the other side of the computer? I had gotten so caught up in wanting to let the public (aka “friends”) know how much I loved my dad that I neglected to ask “what’s the point of this” and act on purpose – thus, I immediately closed the laptop and called my dad.
The act of living on purpose and not just in public is a decision we must make every day, all of the time. And I’m not talking about the kind of purpose where you’re asking yourself, “God what’s my purpose in life” or the “what was I put on this earth to do” kind of questions. Getting into the habit of living on purpose can be the simple act of honestly contemplating one key question: “Why am I really doing this?”
…...why am I really getting married?
…...why am I really trying to go to law school?
…...why am I really having sex with this person?
…...why am I really posting profile updates about my “glamorous” life when I can’t even afford a hot dog?
Have you ever heard that for every cause there’s an effect? Well for every answer there’s an action. When you take the time to consider why you do or want to do the things you do, you can then take ownership of your reasoning for that answer and action – which in turn, leads you to continue on your current path, reassess and go a different way or abandon taking action on your question altogether.
Unfortunately, too many of us go through life not knowing why we really do certain things because we’re often too busy to stop and question ourselves or can even be afraid (or ashamed) of our answers. But as you ponder the true purpose of your actions in even the most mundane of situations, you begin to learn more about yourself and gain greater clarity about your road ahead.
Thankfully, after much consideration and striving to live on purpose, I now realize that there’s even more I’d like to contribute to that magazine instead of just my writings. Now, I can be more accountable to myself and act on purpose as I strive to accomplish my new goal.
WHO IS STEFANIE?
I am an inspirationeur!
I am passionate about empowering people to understand how their unique skills, talents and interests can change the world for the better while leading to personal happiness in the process. Through my work as a cutting-edge business woman, founder of a leadership development organization and spirited public speaker, I believe in #DoingItBIG and accomplishing results. #LiveCandid